Say Something: A Short Film

Written & Directed by Me last summer. Oh, and I’m in it.

Take a look when you have 9 minutes to spare :)

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou DVD Extras

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou DVD Extras

I wrote a script two years ago that went nowhere.

It was written for the express purpose of just getting something done.

There are so many variables in this line of work. (I feel a little like a charlatan talking about ‘this line of work’ since I’m kind of out of the game right now. Which is why I’m doing this.) You’re always dependent on a variety of other people and things coming together in order to do your job - especially for writers and actors.

In some respects, acting isn’t too terribly different from my survival job as a sales associate in the mall. I have a ‘character’ called “Fashion Consultant” that I play, wardrobe that I wear (black on bottom, white or black on top) and lines to deliver in the manner that my character ought to (i.e. personally enthused about being there and talking to you about clothes).

INT. HIGHER END CLOTHING STORE - MIDDAY

FASHION CONSULTANT #3, 27 but looks younger, is pretending to fluff shirts in the front of the store in order to greet people without looking like a rabid wolf on commission. Because she’s not on commission. But she does have sales goals and a whole lot of other numbers she doesn’t care to understand that her new boss insists on meeting with her about at the beginning of her shift.

She is hungry as breaks are running late, again, and she should have had lunch 2 hours ago. CUSTOMER #27, a classy-looking woman in her mid 40s, saunters in.

FASHION CONSULTANT #3: Hi! How are you today?

CUSTOMER #27: Grmph.

Fashion Consultant #3 doesn’t have the strength to push on that one. She moves to a U-bar and starts putting hangers back the way they are supposed to go.

CUSTOMER #28, an Asian woman who looks nice enough, enters.

FASHION CONSULTANT #3: Hello! How are -

CUSTOMER #28 (putting up a hand): No eengrish

Fashion Consultant looks to the cash, trying to see if the consultant who was on break is back yet.

CUSTOMER #28 (holding up a brand new skirt): This fittypercentoff?

FASHION CONSULTANT #3: Uh, no. See, it doesn’t have a sticker.

CUSTOMER #28: Sign say fittypercent!

FASHION CONSULTANT #3: UP TO Fifty Percent. Not everything.

CUSTOMER #28: Oh, ok. Where fittypercent?

FASHION CONSULTANT #3 (with a sigh, speaking deliberately): You see, you’ll have to look for the red…sticker.

CUSTOMER #28: Ok, ok. No eengrish.

Customer #28 walks away, throwing the skirt on a table nowhere near its mates. FC3 notices a happy-looking young White woman enter the store. She’s wearing a shirt from two collections ago - a loyal shopper! She approaches.

FASHION CONSULTANT #3: Hi There! I see you’re wearing one of our shirts!

CUSTOMER #29: Oh, yea. I love the clothes here. They fit me perfectly.

FASHION CONSULTANT #3: Great! Well, you’ll be excited to know that we have some great sales going on and everything in this section is our new collection.

CUSTOMER #29: Perfect!

(I don’t know why so many people respond with “Perfect!” after I tell them our sales. Is it a Canadian thing? An Ontario thing? The people who say that are often the ones who don’t buy so I guess it’s not really perfect, either. Just say - “Ok. Thank you.” No need to get all hyperbolic. Ok - back to the script…)

Feeling happy about a potential sale, Fashion Consultant #3 turns around to find that Mrs. No Eengrish has left a wake of clothing hanging over stands, piles over turned, hangers replaced backwards and clothes on the floor.

She sighs deeply and eyes the door, considering seriously how she might make a break for it.

FADE TO BLACK

And I have people telling me what to do, how to do it and all too little say in the matter. Last rung in the Fashion Food Chain.

What’s glaringly different though is that it takes almost nothing to actually be a sales person and all I have to do to get a job as one is smile and talk about how I love people, meeting sales goals and finishing projects and working as a team member. You’re just kind of jumping into a pool that’s already been filled and heated and primed for you.

(I’d like to put in a clause about having to have a certain skill set but a lot of idiots and unqualified people work in sales. And in the arts. Right? I mean, am I right? LOLZ. Also, notice I said nothing about what it takes to be a ‘good’ salesperson. That does take skill.)

While as an actor, the job descriptions are so specific and so many other things have to be in place in order for you to get the part. The guy they have in mind for the lead can’t be too much taller or shorter than you. They want someone who lives near the shooting locations. They need someone who really looks ‘Black’ not ‘mixed’. Someone actually has to be making a movie or producing a show.

If no one is casting for your type or for a production you can/want to/should be in, then you’re stuck. Always at someone else’s mercy, in a way.

Sometimes that makes it feel kind of impossible - like conception and finding a diamond. We think of these as common occurrences but did you know that only 5% of diamonds that are mined are jewellery grade? The rest are used industrially for cutting and the like. Did you know they have to move over 250 tons of dirt to find a 1ct diamond that can be fashioned into your engagement ring or one of your studs? And conception - there’s only around a 20 - 28% chance of getting pregnant during ovulation IF you and your partner are both healthy.

Diamonds and babies are miracles.

Where was I going with this?

Oh - so, I was tired of reading castings for things I couldn’t get to or didn’t fit. I was tired of seeing people less talented than me and other talented people I know getting all kinds of stuff done. Now, there could be something said about how Anosognosia plays into that but…let’s not, shall we? The fact is, there are people out there doing things and I wasn’t because I let myself feel helpless. (I should say, only in regards to acting in film. I was teaching, taking class, acting and directing in theatre. We’re talking about film here.) I’m also extremely hard on myself and would generally rather do nothing than do something terrible/ly, whereas an anosognosic can’t recognize how horrible the quality is of what they’re doing and they just forge ahead.

So I wrote this under-10-page script. Cast of 3. Essentially one location - inside and outside. Something that could be shot in a night. If you do it right. Something that me and whoever else I wrangled into doing it with me couldn’t make excuses for not doing. “This costs that much. We need this and that. It’s going to take all this time. Blahblahblah”

Now I have the chance. We’re filming at the end of the month. Everything is lining up nicely. Some people who know more than me and are better connected out there in the great big city are involved and have helped me hone the script and will bring their amazing skills to the shoot. It will have at least one killer song on it and I’m hoping to find a photographer to be handy the night of.

I feel so good about this and at the same time I’m a little afraid to feel good about it just yet. Still, I keep swallowing the self-doubt and pushing forwards, reminding myself of who I am and who God made me to be and that I’m at my best when I’m being exactly that person.

Can’t wait to share it!